Martin
Dating on the Net
Yes, I too have tried dating in the net. It was a few years ago now, but I remember it very well. The following article is my confession based on personal experience and is, therefore, entirely subjective. It is quite possible that your experience is completely different, and I absolutely respect that.
My very first experience dates back to when I was about 15, in the era of "Xchat". Do you remember it? It worked on the principle of chat rooms; I used to visit the room for our town. I personally knew many people in the group, and this form of communication didn't really appeal to me. My classmates were there, for instance, and I could just chat to them in person the next day. But I know some people did meet this way—or perhaps they already knew of each other and only managed to arrange a date thanks to the chat. Perhaps they lacked the opportunity or the courage in real life...
Even back then, I let myself be "talked into" a meeting, but it ended in a fiasco because we had nothing to say to each other in person.
Another experience came years later when, after a long-term relationship, I found myself single. A friend mentioned a certain social network that essentially serves as a dating site. But watch out—supposedly, men there are only after one thing! :D Being naturally curious, I wanted to try it out. I didn't believe anyone would try anything with me if I came across as a "nice girl."
However... right from the start, I was surprised by the rather blunt and unnatural communication. For example, in a face-to-face setting, no man meeting me for the first time has ever said: "Hiya princess, you have beautiful eyes, shall we exchange a few lines? Emoji, heart, flower... How long have you been single?"
For me, that was quite a fast opening—and some were even faster and more "open." Sometimes I couldn't believe my eyes at the messages popping up on the screen! Seriously?? Some men seem to think that hiding behind a monitor gives them impunity to write all sorts of obscenities! I must point out that I didn't provoke them verbally, nor did I have any half-dressed photos on my profile. Unlike many men. Their profiles featured one bathroom selfie in pants after another—great inspiration if you’re planning a bathroom renovation... Others had different ideas of self-presentation: their "top photo" was holding a pint or posing with a motorbike or a "souped-up" car. You could count the individuals with a normal photo on the fingers of one hand.
It wasn't just men; apparently, women on this network were often after just one thing too—money. Some men confided in me that they had met women there who then wheedled quite a lot of cash out of them under various pretexts. The sheer willingness to confide in a total stranger surprised me. I had the impression that for some, a short "exchange of letters" was enough for them to reveal everything about themselves. Dating in the net can create a false sense of intimacy—a feeling that we know each other and that the person on the other side truly cares about our joys or burdens.
Because we don't see each other, people lose their inhibitions. What we would normally say only after several dates, some blurt out right at the start. You might also run into someone who simply enjoys endless chatting but never actually wants to meet in person.
I have to admit that this type of dating is certainly an interesting experience, but let's say it's more for the thick-skinned. If you decide to try the networks, I recommend arming yourself with patience—not just when looking for a nice photo, but during the conversation—and a healthy dose of assertiveness for the vulgar pests. Certainly, not every man or woman there is only after "one thing," that would be an exaggeration, but it's good to be on your guard, don't reveal everything immediately, don't be naive, and above all, don't have overblown expectations.
Also, keep in mind that these networks are time-consumers. Many men complained that they have to message a huge number of women just to get a single reply. Even so, many people have found their happiness here. And let's be honest—it is very convenient to scroll through profiles like a phone book from the comfort of your home. The result can be a new love, a new friendship, or a waste of time and sometimes illusions. But we are adults, so it’s up to everyone how they approach this kind of dating. Good luck!
