Martin
How old did you say you are?
Is this a question that weighs on your mind when you're dating? Do you bring it up right at the start—on the first or second date? Just how important is this piece of information to you?
Most of us are curious whether the person sitting across the table is close to our age or far from it, and whether they are older or younger. We either find the courage to ask directly, or we at least make a mental estimate.
If we find ourselves charmed by someone and start thinking about a "serious introduction" or a "committed relationship" (both terms might sound a bit daunting, but we know what we mean, right?), we’ll want to know their age sooner or later. We do this to compare it with our own and evaluate if it can work. But it isn't quite that simple.
I’m happy to share my own experiences. I’ve had a relationship with a man in his late thirties and with a guy ten years younger than me. The former came across as a man of the world with his priorities sorted, but the opposite was true. The younger one, by contrast, knew exactly what he wanted and constantly amazed me with his maturity. Thanks to them, I discovered how difficult it is to judge maturity based on age.
The good old formula of "older man + younger woman" doesn't automatically mean you'll be on the same wavelength. And that, I believe, is the crux of it all. We can say that age is just a number—and it truly is—but if we don’t align on important life milestones and plans for the near or distant future, the relationship will eventually founder.
Sometimes we simply don't "meet" at the right time in our lives, even if we are the same age. And do you really want to pressure someone into something they aren't interested in yet or aren't ready for? More importantly, would you like it if someone did that to you?
