Obstacles to Finding a Partner

Recently, I came across a Facebook discussion debating what the main obstacles to finding a partner actually are. With nearly 400 comments, it clearly struck a chord. The reasons people shared were varied. Some felt the issue lay within their own personality—"I'm an introvert" or "I have a peculiar sense of humour that not everyone gets." For others, the problem was shyness or awkwardness when first meeting someone or at the start of a relationship.

Both men and women mentioned that they aren't "settled"—they travel a lot, don't want to stay in one place for long, and acknowledged that this nomadic lifestyle isn't for everyone. A common theme was: "I'm too demanding, and it only gets worse the older I get." Some blamed their age, others even mentioned their receding hairline! :-)

Women often spoke about their independence, self-sufficiency, or a high-pressure career that might intimidate or at least discourage men. Some simply lacked the opportunity to meet anyone (perhaps they should try our events! :D), while others claimed they were actually happy being single—though that didn't ring entirely true, given the discussion took place in a group with "Dating" in its title.

The obstacles mentioned can essentially be summarised as follows:

• 1. High expectations of a partner or deep-seated prejudices.
• 2. Resignation or passivity when interacting with others.
• 3. Communication issues—being closed off, shame, or excessive self-criticism.
• 4. Not knowing who we are, what we want, or where we are heading.

At the singLOVÉ project, we currently want to help you overcome at least points 2 and 3. In our very ambitious plans for the future, we aim to focus on tackling the other barriers that might be standing in the way of your happiness right now.