Martin
The Influence of Family on Our Relationships
May sees **International Day of Families** (on the 15th), and June is when we celebrate Children’s Day. Have you ever wondered how much your family and the environment you grew up in actually influenced you?
We often look for a partner similar to our opposite-sex parent, but it goes much deeper than that. From our families, we inherit habits, views on gender roles, expectations of loyalty, parenting styles, conflict resolution, and even how to handle household chores or leisure time. We carry the beliefs of our parents, siblings, and grandparents into our own adult lives. Just think: what was said at your home about men, women, or their cohabitation? And do you actually agree with it?
We also frequently mirror our parents’ behaviour, even when we don't like to admit it. Often, we find ourselves copying the very things that bothered us about them. How do we break the cycle? It starts by identifying which patterns we are repeating. Simply uncovering them helps us step away from these ingrained habits if we don’t want to apply them to our own partnerships.
Sometimes, we might face **misunderstanding** from parents or relatives when we choose our own path instead of following in their footsteps. But if we want to live our own lives rather than someone else's, a little rebellion is necessary. It might help to explain that while you love them and respect their journey, that specific path doesn't make you happy, so you are choosing a different one.
On the flip side, is there **something from your family life that you loved** and want to bring into your own home? It could be small gestures or traditions that you want to keep alive.
I have a very close relationship with my parents, despite the distance and not seeing them physically that often. We stay in touch and know (almost) everything about each other’s lives. A friend of mine divides people into **two groups**: Group A are those who maintain a tight bond with their family into adulthood, and Group B are those who see their family only a few times a year and keep the details of their lives to themselves. I’m a definite "A"—and subconsciously, I’ve always sought out partners who feel the same way.
What about you and your future partner’s family? Do you look forward to that first meeting or do you dread it? How important is it for you to get along with them, and how much do you want them involved in your future life together?
